The horse ride

The horse ride

The younger (5 year old) one wanted to ride a horse, and he was all excited as the keeper walked it near us. The elder one (10 year old), seemed not be very happy and he stood there on the beach sands, battling his thoughts. The younger one was all interested about the “Ride” while his big brother was interested about the “Horse.” He shot a number of questions at us, about what a typical day is like for that horse. End of it, he commented that, “Amma, we are so selfish for we put animals into misery for our silly enjoyments; adding about the elephant rides as well, which he had witnessed in Kerala, a few years ago.  

There, then the little one was made to settle safely on the saddle, and he saw to that his brother accompanied him because he was too scared to ride alone. The elder one, went away with such a troubled face. I and my husband stood there, watching them ride away from us toward the waters.  It seemed to us, that the elder one was sitting in a somewhat uncomfortable posture, with his one hand behind him. Seems, that he was patting the horse’s back all through the 15 minutes of the ride!

When he got down, he requested the keeper that he wanted to click a picture of him patting the good horse on his beautiful cheek and the keeper was so happy to help him go with it. He stood next to the horse, with so much contentment this time. May he was convinced that his loving “touches” made up to some extent for their ride on his back.

The little one on the other hand, was just tending to the whims and fancies of a typical 5-year old.  In my heart I felt that he of course had a nobler soul model, to look up to when he grows up into a young man. The elder one trotted ahead of us, leaving his footprints on the sands; it remained there as if it were for us to follow. I was just trying to knit the bits and pieces of my feelings together, as I walked behind him, toward our car holding the little hands of his younger brother.

As for the horse, he stood there humbly in all his immaculate beauty. He was all white and serene, his candid eyes with infinite depths will definitely make one want to dive deep into them. His eyes perhaps, seemed to be reminiscing his past, symbolising his valour, royalty, and endeavour as my precious young boy ran his tender fingers down his cheek!

The sail- back home!

Daddy is retiring! Just that he is completing his official tenure of service as he completes his 67years, the journey is all set to continue! He began in the year 1985 as a passionate young man, who was all set to serve the Lord. Born to parents in a small village down South Tamilnadu, little did he know that he would be instrumental in changing the lives of many!

From his dear hairdresser to his favourite doctor, we have interacted with all those who were/are a part of his life till date. I remember, a few years back an ironman who lived close by came to our house one fine morning with his daughter who had just completed her 12^th standard exams with a heart full of gratitude. It was just a month since he was deployed in that church then. The puzzled look on our faces (Mom and Me) continued until he started after a few minutes of silence, seems the previous day dad had accompanied the father and the daughter to a college which was some 25 kilometres away from our locality in bus and has done all that was required to get her a seat for a UG degree. We were so happy, but he did never talk about it at all the previous day or thereafter, as if it was not a big thing at all! It indeed was a big thing for me, for I knew how busy his schedule used to be then! He always lived on what he preached about!

We had lived in parsonages big and small, but we have never heard him complain, not once! He had never been after any man for any favour at all!  We did learn from him to appreciate every little thing in our lives! He is no super human, he does lose his temper quickly at times, and has a fragile heart, but just that he was faithful to his calling, to put on with the most difficult of times, to stay calm during storms and to walk away from situations that threatened his peace of mind!

It was during the year 2000, when he was diagnosed with glaucoma, which led to his partial loss of vision, all that he prayed was to have enough light in his eyes until he completed his service! His master has always been faithful to him, for there is still light in his eyes! There is light all around him! Faith does work miracles, and we have seen it all through thick and thin! Whenever we fall ill, the first thing we do is to ring him for prayer, and only then the doctor! We certainly owe all the blessings in our lives today to his prayers!

Thank you for being always there for us! Thank you for standing by the choices we made! We owe all that we are today to you daddy! We cannot repay even half of whatever you’ve done for us! If there is one thing that we could do, it would be to walk the path that you had shown us; to always look out for the difficulties faced by the people around us, to volunteer whenever possible for social work,  to give beyond what we think we could afford, to love unconditionally, to be honest in all circumstances, to help without any expectations, to always stand up for the right, to take it all to the Lord, to be humble and to be just us, no matter what!

Your momma would be very happy for you daddy as her dream is complete today! The standards that you had set for us are always high and we still aspire to meet them hundred percent! The values that your parents had passed on to you is what we always try to instil in our little sons too! When it comes to talking about our sons, I certainly want to tell something. Dad had never been upset about not having a son, though it was an endless point of concern for many, the good Lord has blessed him with two sons and four grandsons today!

Thank you for reading, please do remember him in your prayers! He is fondly known as Iyya by all and his Momma and Pappa chose to name him Asir Joseph. He is now Reverend M. Asir Joseph.

(Christ?!)ianity!!

                                                               (Christ?!)ianity!!

Have we ever pondered about where we would be destined to spend our eternity if today was our last day on this planet? Are we going to live here forever? What is the need to battle for worthless power then? What values have our Sunday masses and our solemn recitals of the scriptures added to our lives? What is the need for elections in churches? What does Christianity mean to us if we cannot wholeheartedly choose a few from our fellow beings? Do we have Christ in us in any form at all? Aren’t we the most pitiable beings on earth if we think our monetary offerings matter to God? The campaigns that we run for power and prominence will go in vain, when we face the Master after our race is run! A day will come when the truth shall slap tight on our face!

Having born to parents who strongly believe that they owe every single thing in their life to the creator, Christ was introduced to us ever since we started to remember things! We had the privilege to see him through different people! We have witnessed many tragic departures of people who had showcased themselves as ardent followers of Christ, but little did their life had to do with him ! As grownups now, we try to instill the same values to our little ones too, not by mere words, but through actions! For, it is for the values that a religion is adored and not definitely for anything else, as the modern Christians claim it to be! So, if we cannot practice any of what we preach about, should we not be ashamed to call ourselves as Christians?

If we believe that we can seek God’s forgiveness before we pass away, it is high time that we actually weigh our worth now, right now, for we may not actually get that last chance like the Penitent Thief on the cross! For many, the hour did come when they had not even anticipated it in their dreams! I pity the plight of the hypocrites who play their foul games in churches today in their race for power and positions! Shouldn’t these people be ashamed to call themselves followers of Christ? It is deeply saddening to see even people with terminal illness, whose days are numbered on earth, disturbing servants of God, in their fight for supremacy! Considering that they win a seat here in the committees they believe that the church is established on (How ridiculous!), would they be able to seal a deal with the Master of the universe for a seat right there too? Would they be able to walk to their grave when their soul is taken away?  Isn’t it He, on whom the church is built? We should keep in mind that God doesn’t simply let go of the people who subsidize anarchy in the churches! He never forsakes the called, his servants who are true to him! He never puts them to shame on any instance! He does count the tears of the righteous, so beware, if you have ever aided a foul play directly or indirectly, do not ever imagine that you can simply get away with all that you do, for the payback may be beyond what you and your generations can withstand! Diabetes, cancer and even heart ailments can spare you for a few years here, but it remember it does not even take a second for God to bring your show to a pitiable end, for all to see!

 

So what is it that we can strive for? Indeed, there is much more to yearn for! Reaching out to the lonely, visiting a sick person, having a chat with the less privileged sections of our society, helping a poor child with his or her schooling, and many more simple things that we can do on our daily basis. If we cannot identify our calling with any of such deeds of love, what is the point of us being called as followers of Christ? Well, if our lives are not worth it, let us not go preaching to our friends of other faiths, for if we live our faith we don’t have to preach it at all!!

She - Here I bring her to you !

It is about her.It is all about an awesome woman.She was born in a small graceful village of south India you might not have known her , but for me she was introduced on the very first day of my life on earth ! If I had to say something about my childhood it wouldn’t be complete without her! She was unquestionably the kind of a person whom  we all aspire to be with.Here I bring her to you.

She had never been to school .She never knew to read or write .Yet she was wise.She never bothered about her diet or about her looks , yet she was gorgeous ! Proteins & Vitamins never made any sense to her .Science reported that she had a heart failure about two decades ago (1995) ,but she lived a happy contented 96 years before she left us a couple of years ago on April 2013! She walked around till the last few days of her life .Well,what was that  in her life that made it so powerful ?

 Her life was full of people ! Yes ,full of people , not only that of her own but be it anyone on her streets.She was kindly called as amma in her own little place.She was well known for her deeds of charity and if I had to say it all ,a book wouldn’t do her justice.Gypsies did find shelter in her home.She embraced their children.She cared for them so much that she used to oil their hair and tidy them up. She used to have many visitors from around , the hungry , the sick , the poor and the downtrodden .She had solutions for all of them.I believe,It was that divine love which descended from her Father above, that played power in her life !She wasn’t rich but she had everything !! No wonder ,people called her  “nallama “ .She lived the word !! Besides home, if there is one other place she was so fond off it was her church ! Not once would she miss any proceedings there !    Her fear of God and her bonding with the master of the universe was the reason behind her power and confidence !
At home ,children were her world ! she was gifted with three of them after about 15 years of waiting,No wonder she treasured them dearer than her own self. She never worried about their grades at school but she always used to make sure they were comfortable in all possible ways ! Her boys lived upto to it even as they grew onto adults!

I had the privilege of being with her during the first months of my life  before I turned a year old and always used to cherish her loving memories. For me my every vacation when at school was her .My brothers and sisters had her warmth for many many years ,for she chose to live with them in her native place, a place that was so close to her heart ,She loved them madly , that one of my brothers wrote her name as his mother’s name in his school books.

On a lighter note, she had a very good sense of humour and she used to mimic many of our tones! She used to hate cricket because her grandsons would have to go hunting for the ball that someone else had batted onto a far off place !!  As a mother in law , true she had tides with her daughter in laws at times but  I knew , she loved them , she cared for them and she always wished good for them no matter what ! They knew it too ! She did not forget to kiss and bless the hands that cared for her when she was not able be herself anymore ! She blessed the hands that carried her like a baby to the restrooms for the n number of times when she wasn’t able to walk anymore !

 As a child I foolishly used to wish that she should never die as I could not think of her going off for ever!

The day did come as it does for all ! Her Goodbye was short ! We were getting things ready for our house warming on an April evening .We live hundreds of miles away from her. I got a phonecall from appa saying she was ill ! I wasn’t very much disturbed about it since  somehow strongly I believed she wouldn’t go away this time and we had planned to see her after the function at home here ! But may be God had other plans for her ,that he wanted her just this time !! He took her right away ! She died surrounded by people whom she loved the most on the same night !

Her departure as described by my little sister was so unusual .I would rather call it serene or heavenly ! For years her bed at home was by the window , outside of it there is a guava tree .There hardly used to be birds on it .I have just seen ants and guavas on it for years ! But at that night minutes before her departure ,at  3 am there were birds chirping and singing on it ! It continued for a while and then there was silence.It all stopped and so did her heart ! She passed away as silently as a sleeping baby!

As I was travelling to my hometown ,knowing this is that one last time I shall get to see her ! It did hurt to accept that she wouldn’t open up to talk a word to me ! I had the guilt of not having met her for that one last time before she slipped into silence !

I longed to see her just once for  one last time ! Just once to say a proper goodbye , Just once to hold her loving hands ! Just once to show her that my little son talks much more than me ! Just once to hear her call me thangam ! Just once to have my loving husband being blessed by her selfless heart ! Just once to tell her that I sooner will have another little man in my life ! Just once to tell her that her playful lovely little darling is a mother of two sons today ! Just once to tell her that I will miss her badly all through my life ! Just once to call her  “amma “. I never have called anyone else “ amma “after her !I call my mother  “ mom “ and so does my cousins !!  We call our children “ thangam “ ,the word so dear to my heart !

She left us,but not completely.She lives today in the form of two men .They are different from each other but together they sum up her !! Goodness and love still rules !! Several times after her departure, when we visit our hometown the bedside window brings in a ton of memories ! Today, there is a lovely little darling  to fill in the every bit of that empty little space ! Her birth did bring immense joy  to me,which no words can describe , as I honestly  wished my brother  gets a baby gal first , a silly little wish just to see amma again in her though every others desired  a baby boy for my brother ! She has come back .She is Chrysolite, also known as Sornamani !!


It is Love that rules !!

Sophie

Thatha

In memory of my loving Thatha (A.Muthaiah ) – The man I ever admired the
most.

We still can’t believe you are gone dear Thatha
For me it is like you are there at home
Miles away walking around
A man in his hundreds, a miracle he was
Signs of old age is for your skin and bones but
Not a wee bit of it in your heart and will power!

Not one day have we heard you yell
Not once have we seen you argue
Not one man could think of you as a foe
Not once have we heard you talk ill about anyone
All we have seen is love, care and passion
As a responsible father, a loving Thatha, a compassionate husband and
Indeed as a great father in law, we do envy our moms for this !

We have only felt joy and comfort in your presence
You have made us laugh and showed us it is alright to cry
We can never forget the days you walked us to school
The days wherein we had “ready-to-eat“peanuts and sugarcanes at home
Neatly processed with love and care.
The days wherein you made onions and coco’s easy to cook for our moms in kitchen
The loads of wood you should have carried to bring up your kids with pride
You succeeded too, for 3 blessings they are today!

If I had to write it all,
Pages wouldn’t be enough dear Thatha!
Ending it short so that we can put it up on our walls
For our kids to read about you dear Thatha
United we stand today although there were tiny misunderstandings in the past
Through several ups and downs
As children we pledge to be the same as one family in all our days
Come what may !

Never have you caused trouble to anyone
Even in death(18 Jan 2012) you proved it dear Thatha
You embraced it with patience, holding your breath until your grand daughter’s wedding (14 Jan 2012)
Making sure you were there on her big day to bless them!
We all hope to meet you one day in our heavenly abode
Until then It is for memories dear Thatha
Your memories dearest Thatha will reign our hearts !!

Anbu Thathavirku aayiram mutthangal,
Sophie
1 march 2012

The gift of womb from the God of justice

We have seen and heard many instances where people glorify god for the good things or miracles that happened in their lives but, what do we do if life isn’t kind enough? What if the road we travel has several glitches? Do we really think of God’s good will during difficult times? I would  admit, when life is simply tough to just move on ,I complain, I feel low and I swear  I wouldn’t want to walk to the podium and speak of God’s blessings in my life that too in front of the congregation ! May be I’d just sit behind dumb enough with a pondering mind hearing other people’s testimonials .The last Thanksgiving service (Dec- 2013) was a lesson for life.

The reverend announced that it was time for people to share any instance worth a “Thank you “to God. A few narrated and it was no different except for that of a young deacon. The rest of the people stood there to thank the almighty for something that they had already received. The young man’s story was different. He has been working there as a deacon reporting to my dad who is a reverend there in the same parish. The sincere man began to speak and his words testified it. He was married for 5 years and since then they were eagerly awaiting for the conception of a baby. He said it did not happen until the month of September-2013 .There was pin drop silence in the church as people were just waiting for his next words probably thinking he‘d make a positive note  and I was no exception . I knew many were praying for him and were expecting a miracle. He paused for while and then continued.

 This was what he uttered:  “All medical records claimed that we weren’t perfectly able-bodied to carry a baby, doctors called in for a surgery which we could not afford but then did not assure of a complete remedy! We had lost all hope and were distressed; God looked upon us, my wife conceived in the month of September proving all theories wrong “There were happy faces all around me.

It was  after a short pause , he continued with broken words battling his tears out  “ After 60 days of early pregnancy the womb lost its life .I stand here to  thank God with all my heart for he gave us hope that we are capable , when all medical records failed us. I thank God for he made us feel fit and worthy to carry a baby! God has always been good to us no matter what “.He walked away silently to his seat. Tears rolled out on everybody’s eyes .I wept too. It was probably a sad thing which no one would want to keep in mind .It was a disappointment. Several days passed by and his words kept sounding in my ears and I was could not make out why he even spoke of it that day .I was surprised to see his determination to share this to all.

You know what , the living Lord God ,the master of the universe, the emperor of all lives, must have been a silent listener of these sincere words too for he could not stop doing justice to this to this young deacon. Very soon, in the following month itself (end of Jan 2014) his wife was confirmed with a healthy conception. It has been almost 75 days now and the baby is healthy too beaming with signs of life and growth. God does justice. If you walk through the same valley, do not lose hope, accept it, come what may and continue to thank him. Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him! For all of us who hardly had a chance to feel the yearning for the gift of a child in life, it is a reminder to treasure them each day as the fruit of the womb is a reward from Him.